Panic is a strong emotion.
When Mr. Marvelous left the house the other day at 4:30 am or so to drive to the airport and catch a plane out of town for a few days, I sent him off trusting God to take care of him. Since 9/11, that awareness and trust is more important, isn't it?
An hour later I turned on the computer to catch up with the news. A headline screamed at me "Plane Crash In Birmingham, Alabama". Even though I knew it was too soon for his plane to have taken off, I ran the gamut of panicked emotions. Those "what-ifs" that can destroy you.
I quickly found that it was a UPS cargo plane that had crashed. I also found that it had not made it to the runway but had crashed near an intersection of two highways. Then I read that witnesses were reporting multiple explosions. That lead to a whole new set of worries. Did it crash on the road? Was anyone on the ground hurt? Was my husband in the middle of this? Was it terrorism? Were other planes in jeopardy?
It's a little hard to confess to you how self-centered my fears were. In those moments of fear I wasn't thinking about the pilots of the plane and their families, the fire-fighters, the airport personnel, the people in the neighborhood. All I was focusing on was how this might affect me and my husband.
The only emotion that out-weighed the momentary fear and panic that I felt was the relief when I realized all was well with my family. I read that Mr. Marvelous' plane got off on time and made it safely to Texas. I got a text from him that he was safely on the ground. He called and I got to hear his voice tell me that he is fine.
The relief is there. The panic and fear are put to rest. Now I can go and pray for the families and co-workers of the two men who died, for the firefighters who had to deal with the especial horror of a crash, and for the neighborhood where this happened.