Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Monday Morning Memories....on Tuesday

Once upon a time there was a little family who lived in the country on a little hill.  They loved country life.  They had chickens, rabbits, a garden, and they even tried raising bees until Mama got stung and swelled up like a monster.  They loved their little country home and life. 

They realized that while country life was the life for them, they did still need a few modern conveniences.  They could do without television service, and managed for a while without trash pick-up.  But they did find that having internet service made it possible for Papa to keep his job, and Mama to stay connected to the world (for better or worse).

Therefore, when they moved onto their little hill, they called around to find a company who could provide internet service up their little hill.  They were surprised to find that in this day and age that was not as easy as one might expect  However they finally found a company who said that they could provide internet and phone service, so they signed the contract and were happy. 

Over time a few problem cropped up.  If a check was not mailed 2 weeks before it was due, they would claim that they did not receive it by the due date and charge a penalty fee.  Because if they did not receive the mail that Mama sent, it was Mama's fault.  A few times the bill did not arrive at the little house until the day it was due.  Mama sent the payment in with a note about when the bill was received and the next month she discovered a late fee on the bill because last month's payment had been late.  It seems that if Mama does not receive her mail in time that is also Mama's fault.  For a while Mama paid her bills in person at the office, but then the company decided to close that office down to "save costs".  Mama had to resort to paying her bill on-line.  Until that became a problem.

Over time, the speed of the internet became slower and slower.  Papa got a new job that required him to work from home ~ using the internet ~ periodically.  As time went on, the internet became slower and slower.  If Papa were home working, Mama could not use the internet.  In the afternoons when the neighbors came home from work and their children came home from school, they needed the internet and sometimes Papa and Mama could not use it at all. 

One day Papa received a letter in the mail from the company saying that if he would call them right away he could sign up for new, faster service and lock into a low rate for that service for a life-time.  Papa was VERY happy to get this news!  He called the company right away and said he wanted to take advantage of this wonderful offer.  As he talked to the helpful person on the phone, he realized that they sounded a little hesitant about the wonderful offer.  Finally they admitted, "Sir, we can not provide that service where you live" ????  It seemed that not only could they not guarantee that new, faster, better service where Papa and Mama lived, they admitted that they could not even guarantee the service for which Papa and Mama were paying a hefty fee each month. 

Papa began to look around at other companies to see who could provide internet service to the little house on the hill.  Sadly, no one was able to. 

One day a neighbor called Papa to tell him that a lawyer was coming!  The lawyer was going to talk to the neighborhood about getting better service!  Maybe even getting what they were paying for!!  Papa and Mama talked and decided to go to the meeting.  After listening to the lawyer, Papa and Mama were sad to realize that the lawyer was not living in the same world that they were, but in some alternate reality universe where the internet company would listen to the lawyer and do what the lawyer thought they should do.  And pay the lawyer a lot of money.

The months went on.  Internet service became worse and worse with each month.  Mama was sad because every month she had to pay the company lots of money.  Every month the service was worse and worse.  Sometimes just for fun, Papa or Mama would call the company and ask if there was a problem in their area making their service so poor.  The helpful irritated people at the company never really seemed to be able to answer that question. 

Finally one month Papa did a speed test.  He discovered that even though he was paying for one speed, he was really only getting speeds 1/12th as fast as what he was buying.  That day Papa, who was supposed to work from home because it was Christmas Eve, had to go to the office to work.  Papa was NOT HAPPY.  The next week, Papa called a nice man at a brand-new company.  The nice man said he could help!  The nice man said that he would be happy to give Papa new service with faster internet for a better price.  The nice man made it very easy to get the new service.

Papa called Mama.  They were afraid to be too hopeful because the old, big company had made so many promises.  But they decided to go ahead and see if the nice man was telling the truth.  Within just a few days, there were more nice men at their little house on the little hill.  The next day another nice man came to the little house on the little hill.  That evening Papa and Mama had NEW INTERNET SERVICE.   THAT WORKED!!  Papa tested the speed of the new internet service.  He could hardly believe his eyes; it was FAST!  Papa discovered that every single time he checked, the internet service was still just as fast as the nice man had promised it would be.  Papa called Windstream the old, tired, sad internet service provider and told them that he would not need them any more.  The woman at Windstream the old, tired, sad internet service provider asked if Papa would still use them if they gave Papa a faster speed?  Papa said that he had been told he could not get that speed at the little house on the little hill.  The woman at Windstream the old, tired, sad company said, "Oh". 

And that, boys and girls, is how Papa and Mama wound up at USA Cable network the nice, new internet service provider instead of Windstream the old, tired, sad company.

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