I have a confession to make. Trust is rather difficult for me. I was thinking about an incident this morning and my thoughts took a different direction from usual and I wanted to share that today.

Suppose Mark and I had a critical decision to make. As a Christian family, Mark is unequivocally the head of our home. I give input and Mark considers it and we make decisions together, but in the end he casts the final vote. This means that I must trust Mark to love me as Christ loves the church. I must trust that he will carefully and prayerfully consider my input into these decisions. I must also trust that the final decision is one he has made in faith believing that this is God's best way for us. What if his final decision flies against my common sense and judgment? What if his decision contradicts sound advice from experts? May I then disagree with him and go my own way and make a decision contrary to his? If it were just a matter of trusting Mark, perhaps I could. But in our marriage, I am also called to trust God to lead Mark and direct him. Let's suppose Mark's decision goes against what I think and believe. We talk about it and I present my case but Mark chooses to do something else because that is what he believes God is asking him to do. If I then rebel against Mark, I am also rebelling against God. This rebellion is not only against God's plan for the situation, but also against God's plan for our family. This is a hot topic these days, partly because the concept of submission is abused by (hopefully) well-meaning Christian men, but also because our culture states that wives have just as much say and spiritual authority as husbands.
Let's go a little further. What if Mark makes a decision, we follow it as a family, and the outcome is bad. Perhaps there is a financial set-back. Perhaps someone is hurt emotionally or physically. Perhaps there is a spiritual wound resulting from the decision. What then? Do I sit him down "in love" and point out to him that if he had done things my way, we would all be better off? Do I instruct him on how to do things better in the future? Do I generously offer to remove this burden of authority from him so that he doesn't have to bear it any more? Do I offer to be a "co-authority" to give him a break? Not if I love him and trust him! (remember that love is not the way we feel about people but the way we treat them). Taking it further, not if I trust God to love me and care for me. Perhaps we needed to be shed of some financial burden. Perhaps the physical or emotional wound is necessary for God to show Himself. Perhaps the spiritual wound is there for God to heal. I am not saying that God desires bad things to happen to His children. However, our definition of "bad" may not be His definition of "bad"! I do know that God's intent is for a christian marriage to reflect Jesus' relationship with the church. Mark is to love me and care for me and do what is necessary for me and our family even when it is painful or difficult. I am to trust and respect him and lovingly follow him. I am to pray for him and encourage him to keep on his knees and keep seeking God's will for the family.

Today I am thankful for godly men who love their wives and work hard to discern God's will for their families!